I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Randomize
