just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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