Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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