I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
zippers are such a cool invention
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
