we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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