This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
