It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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