white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
