DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
