I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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