Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
