does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
