we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
