If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
