TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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