Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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