Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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