i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
