Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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