trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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