Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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