I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
