The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
