There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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