the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
