At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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