please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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