just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
