Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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