So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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