Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
