Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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