he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
