you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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