Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize