guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
