You work out of a Hotel?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think I am morally bankrupt
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize