my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i love accidental penises.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
