jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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