The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
