Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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