Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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