you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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