Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
