And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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