i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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