i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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