No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
