We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
