You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
