Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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