I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
