you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize