U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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