clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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