I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
