i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
