you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
pop tarts are not kleenex
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
